Take Up The Challenge

“Go beyond my comfort zone”

I perfected the art of reciting this pretentious crap years ago, I’m a fan of cheese (yes, the food, but in this instance I’m referring to the overtly sentimental, borderline cringe-worthy lines) so much so, that somehow I convinced myself that simply believing it was enough. I just found this definition of “cheesy” on urban dictionary: 

 “I want you to be moved’ instead of moving you.”

This, I feel, sums up the reality of what mindset I got stuck into, and why I so desperately needed to force myself OUT of my comfort zone, because spouting out the same line over and over again, albeit well meant, is, in-fact, meaningless if I don’t actually do anything about it… But now stranded very much beyond the comfy, protective borders of my “comfort zone” I recognise how reassured I felt behind them and why it took me a while to breach them again. Because its not cheesy, its not easy and it’s exactly what it says on the tin: UNCOMFORTABLE.  When I say I’m uncomfortable, I’m not talking about the 90% humidity in 35 degree heat, or the mass of mosquito bites that appear out of nowhere, or even the nightmare of trying to carry 2 heavy and awkward sized backpacks through a crowed station. No I’m talking about that feeling of paralysis in the face of so many unknowns, trying to determine that next step with the comprehension that no one is going to decide for me, there’s no one to hide behind, its all up to me, so, what’s my next move…  It’s no piece of cake when quite literally everything is new to you, even to the point that ‘everyday’, ‘taken for granted’, ‘don’t have to think about it’ things become a fresh challenge, going to the the supermarket for example, is troublesome in a completely new country, but it can also be so exciting… Because it is true about what can happen when you dare to push yourself beyond the paralysing panic and frog-march yourself into the chaotic unknown (traffic in Jakarta, is the literal embodiment of chaos), its such a huge chance to learn and grow, forcing yourself to make that decision, and yes it can go wrong sometimes, you can pay far too much for a taxi, but you got there safe and you’ll do better next time, and better again the time after that.  A big thing I’m learning is not to be afraid of things going wrong or making mistakes, because quite honestly I don’t have a choice about that, but what I do get a say on is how I respond when things go wrong and whether I let the fear of things going wrong  stop me from experiencing all the possible opportunities and new adventures around me, whether that is going to the shops, and buying fresh mangos for the equivalent of 10p, or joining in with a traditional Javanese musical performance and learning to play the angklung!  There is a new adventure on every corner…  This isn’t a cheesy line, I’m being 100% genuine, try crossing the road in Indonesia you’ll see what I mean!